Written by KZN Regional Commissioner Gregory Southey 

In Scouting, we often talk about being there for one another. That spirit of friendship, support and looking out for others is just as important when it comes to the health of boys and men. Sometimes a simple phone call, a quick check-in or a conversation can make all the difference.

Many men put the needs of others before their own wellbeing, often delaying important health checks or struggling in silence. In this article, I explore why just eight minutes could save a life, reminding us that taking care of ourselves is also part of being there for the people who matter most.

Recently, I watched a short 57-second You Tube video with the title of “Do you have eight minutes?”.  The video is credited to Simon Sinek, an inspirational speaker I find very motivating. In the video Simon explains that it takes just 8 minutes of conversation with someone to cheer them up and can turn their day around. Sounds good hey, but if you watch the video, it’s not really inspiring at all, but the thought that 8 minutes could change the day of someone dear to you is.

Wait, is this 8 minutes actually a thing? So, I quickly asked my friend Google, and I found a Psychology Today Blog by Elana Premack Sandler which ponders on this thought. She quotes Jancee Dunn who wrote “I just had an eight-minute call with my good friend Tina, whom I’ve known for over three decades. I could never seem to connect with her (she has a very demanding job) until I sent her a text last week proposing an eight-minute phone call. That seems weird, she wrote back. Come on, I wheedled. You can do it. I promise not to go long. Name a time. At the appointed hour, I gave her a ring. In short order, we talked about our mothers’ health, made birthday plans, gossiped about a friend who abruptly quit his job and moved to a tiny Mexican town, traded book recommendations and explored the possibility of an afterlife (verdict: we’re not sure). Intently focused, we knocked out subject after subject, before Tina announced that our eight minutes were up — and besides, she had arrived at the dry cleaner’s. I hung up, smiling and humming a little tune. I had missed her and didn’t realize it until I heard her voice. I was also surprised by how much ground we covered without the call feeling rushed. Our connection was brief, but it was real. That last line resonated in me, but it was REAL! In today’s society, “REAL” seems to be rare.”

Elana goes on to say in her blog. “Dr. Bob Waldinger, a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and the author of the book ‘The Good Life: Lessons From the World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happiness’, said that most busy people “tend to think that in some unspecified future, we’ll have a ‘time surplus,’ where we’ll be able to connect with old friends.” That may never materialize, he said, so pick up the phone and invest the time right now.
In addition to all the positive associations I had with my 8-minute meeting, Dunn’s piece stood out to me because of the correlation between connectedness and suicide prevention. The more we feel a part of something, connected to others, less isolated, the less likely we are to die by suicide. An 8-minute phone call seems like a simple thing to do, and I love how Dunn breaks down how to do it, and provides some evidence to back up the assertion that it could be a good idea.”

But it was the message from Dr Waldinger, the psychiatrist Dunn quotes, that really resonated with me. I do not have any degrees or claim to be an expert in any of the above topics, but I know it is always good to chat to a mom, dad, good old friend or someone dear. I always feel better. But, what happens if someone no longer has that someone dear, a mom or dad? It might be you who has no one dear, if so, please text me: “Do you have 8 minutes?” and I will call you back.

I urge all our Scouting members to take note. If you get a message that says” Do you have 8 minutes?”, please call them back and help change their day. They hold you dear to them and you might even save a life.